“But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison…”
James 3. 8
I penned this down with women in mind- I overheard someone saying women were designed to speak 5000 words a day (like their ‘counterparts’ don’t say more during football or happy hour!)
“SHUT UP”! I believe those words are more powerful simply because it gets you to listen faster than saying “listen”- at least when ‘Daddy’, ‘Boss’ and ‘Husband’ say it. Growing up in church, my pastor at the time said the most powerful thing in a man’s life are at the side of his head- his ears. Your ears are the vehicle of your destiny. I know we’ve all heard the saying “A closed mouth is a closed destiny”; I believe that is true but, like everything good, too much of it becomes bad for you. Many people have opened their mouths and gulped down bad luck, disaster, divorce, and failure simply because they talk too much!
Every car was designed with brakes, even with the fast-paced technology; hopefully there will never be a car without brakes or at least a slowing technique. It is good and important that we express ourselves, but it is more important that we express ourselves to be understood. To do so, we need to hit our vocal brakes every now and then; pause and listen, if we really want to be heard. Like the old cliché goes, it is more blessed to give than to receive, so it is more blessed “shut up” than to….
In Communication, we were taught that communication boils down to listening, speaking, reading, and writing. In whatever form we choose to express ourselves, communication will always require at least two of these elements and listening will always be a compulsory constant. Notice I said COMPULSORY and CONSTANT. That means, no options, no corners, no exceptions.
In every romantic relationship, I believe the secret of its longevity is not, has not, does not and will never depend on their feelings for each other but their willingness to listen to each other’s hearts. Have you ever realized that when a good thing is over- relationships, marriage, or friendships we actually start “listening” to what they were actually saying? Going over it in our minds over and over again, trying to understand why something so beautiful ended the way it did. If you want to be a better person at anything, the key is to listen. To be the best at anything you pay the price for training yourself and you pay attention.
If we would be more willing to listen, not just keep quiet, I mean really listen; close out all those important thoughts that invade our memory every 10 seconds and pay attention to our wives, husbands, children, mother, boss, customer, pastor, best friend, therapist…. we would finally be able to understand exactly what they mean and hear the spirit behind the words.
Be slow to speak, slow to anger but quick to hear…
For once, try listening for a change and quit the race to be heard. Crank up the volume of your heart and relationships with the loudness of your silence. Put a guard at your mouth, if any words must be spoken, wait till you have listened to the person in front of you.
There is magic in words, but charm lies not in expression, but in understanding the person on the receiving end and using it to your advantage. Inspiration and real wealth will be yours if you will learn to listen. I’m done here, Sssssshhhhhh…. I’m busy listening!
For in many things, we offend all.
If any man offends not in word, the same is a perfect man…